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Department Of Agriculture Locates Perfect Goat

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Department Of Agriculture Locates Perfect Goat
SPRINGFIELD, MO—Citing the animal’s ideal physical features and archetypally frisky behavior, Department of Agriculture officials announced at a press conference Thursday that the agency had successfully located the perfect goat. “As you can see from the proportion of his legs to his body, his flawless, glossy brown hair, and the way he chews grass with his jaw moving back and forth at an ideal rate of 40 times per minute, we have finally found the perfect goat,” said Deputy Secretary of Agriculture Krysta Harden, while admiring the animal’s perfect horns, perfect ears, and perfect hooves. “The sounds he makes are...
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