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Salamanders Bravely Offer To Go Extinct In Place Of Better Animal

Trending story found on www.theonion.com
Salamanders Bravely Offer To Go Extinct In Place Of Better Animal
EARTH—Insisting that the planet’s resources could be put to far better use than toward their own paltry existence, the world’s salamander population reportedly gathered Thursday to bravely announce their willingness to go extinct in the place of a better animal. “We’ll do it. We’re small, slimy, and stupid, and we don’t have much effect on anything—it’s for the best, really,” said the vast coalition of amphibians, solemnly stating their willingness to “go ahead and take one for the team” on behalf of several critically endangered and “way cooler” species such as the black rhino, hawksbill turtle, or the Sumatran elephant....
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